literature

Prologue

Deviation Actions

ARVEN92's avatar
By
Published:
4.6K Views

Literature Text

-Our ancestors once told me that the Earth is no longer a safe place for us. They also told me that long, long ago, when the great-grandfathers of our grandfathers still walked this ground, humans were the rulers of the Earth. Yes, you heard right. We were the alpha species, the leaders, the complete owners of our planet. No one ever dared to take our place, we were way too powerful for them all.-
The old man sat down, as the kids who surrounded him came closer so that they could hear better. Many of them sat next to each other to fight the cold of that starry autumn night. Their breaths condensed in small clouds coming from their mouths. The fence of the courtyard they were in was hardly visible in the darkness.
-Are you telling us the truth, Grandpa? Things must've changed a lot since then! What happened exactly? How did we come to this?- One of the kids asked. His eyes betrayed a sort of worry, mixed with curiosity.
-I was getting to that, child.- The old man said, as he looked for a more comfortable position to sit.
-We were not aware of all the enemies we actually had. Some of them hid in the darkness, scanning us, and waiting for the right chance to strike. And the result is that they got us unprepared. They had been planning their attack for all this time, and they waited for us to get distracted before launching their assault. It was humiliating, frustrating, it was terrible. If only you could imagine what noble creatures we were before that time! We were powerful and intelligent, we were the greatest. And now? What are we now? We grow more and more humble and stupid every day.- He said, with a nostalgic tone in his voice.
One of the children got up, and, although the old man could not see him well over the blinding brightness of the fire in front of him, he was ready to listen to what he had to say.
-Grandpa, how did the battle go? How could we lose it?- He asked.
The old man lowered his head as a veil of sadness seemed to cover his eyes. He waited for a moment before answering.
-It was not a battle, little boy. It was a war.- He told him. –We thought we were so powerful against them, but we lost many lives uselessly. And no matter how many we were, we always ended up being outnumbered. And we didn't realize it until they cornered us, when we discovered how strong they were. They destroyed us. Our weapons, our almighty weapons, the ones we thought that could save us in any situation, failed right when we needed them. Oh, and they took advantage from this to kill us. They had their own weapons you know. And they used them against us. They decimated us, leaving almost none of us alive. They murdered our wives and kids, and most of us all.  And I'm not joking, kids. There were just some hundreds of us left in the whole Planet. There was no doubt they wanted our place as the leading species. And we could do nothing to stop them. We could only stare, weak, powerless, as they proceeded to burn our villages and hang our people. And we begged them not to do the same with us survivors. We sold ourselves to them. And, I think, this is the worst mistake we could ever do, because it was exactly what they wanted. They wanted to dominate us, and they did it. They wanted to wipe us out, and they did it. They wanted us to be terribly afraid of them, and they succeeded. But they also needed us, and they soon realized about this. In a way, it is thanks to them that we are still here.-
The old man took a wide breath and stayed quiet. He wanted to see if the kids had understood what he was saying. Most of them were staring at him, frozen by the cold, as a sense of fear slowly made its way through their weak bodies. The kid who had got up talked again, excited.
-What happened then? Please, Grandpa, tell us!- He screamed.
The other kids did not dare to talk. They were scared by the old man's words. The man smiled to the brave kid, and continued telling his story.
-Now, where was I. Oh, yes. We are still here thanks to them, because these enemies of ours needed us. So, the eldest humans among those who survived talked to their generals, to come to a compromise. And they did come to one. Oh, they did. They got exactly what they wanted, once more. The pact was, that they would have let us reproduce if only we served them for the rest of our lives. If not, they would have killed our babies and left us to extinction. And this was something we couldn't possibly accept. The conditions were terrible, but we had no choice. We agreed to their pact, and this was it. We had just become their slaves. All of a sudden, we had lost all of our glory and independence, all of our pride and dignity. And they treated us like beasts, those nasty, filthy bastards.-
The old man stopped and suddenly raised his head. All the kids were staring at him, speechless. The only noise that could be heard was the sizzling of the fire, and the crackling of the burning wood.
-I… I am sorry.- The man said. –I didn't mean to say that.- He added, in a whisper. Complete silence in the courtyard. Twenty curious eyes were fixed on him. The kid who had been standing finally sat down.
-But Grandpa, Azaras are not that bad, are they?- He asked.
-Of course not. I exaggerated.- The man quickly answered him. –Azaras are noble creatures, just like we were in our days of glory. But everyone has their time, and we had ours. We have been the leaders for way too long, and now it's their turn.- He stated.
Then, he slowly turned back and made sure no one had heard him, except the kids. The youngest of them looked at him.
-Grandpa, what are Azaras like? Mom continuously tells me that I'm going to work for them, that I must do whatever they tell me to do. But what ARE they like? Are they good looking? Are they nice?- He asked.
The old man kept quiet for a moment, and again, he looked around searching for any possible intruders. All he saw was the shiny glow of a fire in the distance. He was sure there was somebody else hiding in that darkness. The man growled softly and mumbled something. Then, he turned back to the kids, his growl transforming into a happy face.
-Oh, they are absolutely nice! When I was about your age, my Mom used to tell me the same thing, you know. And I've been at their service for countless years.- He said.
-Then you know them well, don't you? What are they like?- The young boy repeated the question.
-What Azaras are like, you ask? Oh well, they are handsome creatures. Feline eyes, canine head and tail, and human-like body, covered in soft fur. Strongly built, agile, quick, and tall. They are really beautiful.- The man said.
-So, are they like dogs? Only, they stand on two legs, like us?- The child asked again.
-Wolves, more than dogs, but not wolves exactly. They are stronger and more intelligent.- The man answered.
Another kid got up; he was more or less the same age as the previous.
-Grandpa, tell us about your days as a servant. Were you well treated? What were your duties?- He asked.
The man looked at him, he was serious, and the wrinkles on his forehead formed a funny pattern in the child's mind. The man's eyes, consumed by age and dull with tiredness, penetrated the glossy, young, blue pearls of the child's. Only then the kid noticed a mark on the ear of that old man. Yes, part of the man's left ear was missing.
-Fine then.- The man said. –But I would like to start telling my story from the very beginning. You will meet my old friends, and they will also tell you their stories through my lips, my eyes, my ears, my hands. Prepare for a long and difficult journey, and make sure to bring along whatever you need.
Ohi there, this is probably the first time I ever submit literature on the internet :3 But oh well, I gotta try, sooner or later :D

So, this is just something absolutely random, and it's supposed to be the prologue to a story I am planning. Please, I would really appreciate if you told me what you think about it, 'cause I could post more of it if I see you like it :D
If not, I'll just write my story for fun anyway, yet I won't post it on the Internet, that will just be it^^

Anyway, enjoy, and I hope you understand my awful grammar! x3 Oh, and sorry if it sounds confusing at first, but I do need to create some suspence, no? ;)

Oh yes, about Azaras... Don't go look for arts about them in my gallery, useless thing :D I've edited the species, and made them look more like humanized wolves, but not wolves exactly, like anonymous old man there says :3 You can call them "anthro" wolves as well if you want, 'cause that's the concept. But I wanted these guys to look different from wolves anyway, although they practically ARE wolves in their look :3

Okay, I realized I said the word "wolves" too many times, I guess I shall just shut up now :nod:

Anyway, enjoy, and please, again TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!! Constructive critique is VERY appreciated. Thank you^^
Comments85
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
trinitywarriordragon's avatar
:star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

I enjoyed reading this prologue. The idea is interesting, and certainly not a common one. The description is good, I can clearly see the children gathered around the ancient patriarch as he speaks. Actually, I don't just see them. I can feel them and I am there with them. Always aim for that in your writing. Your dialogue needs a bit of work. It is well written, but unnatural. Especially the children. Children never enunciate perfectly and use vocabularies of that level. True, you may have done that intentionally to portray your story better but from what you are writing about the reader has the impression that living in bondage, the people probably don't receive a high education. Try to use less filler words. For instance, "Yes, part of the man's left ear was missing." Would have had more impact had it been a bit more blunt.