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August 3, 2013
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Chakra -B.O.T. Page 132 by ARVEN92 Chakra -B.O.T. Page 132 by ARVEN92
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Aaand today's page is here :)

Jackal's monologue continues, and we finally discover the secret of the Zodiac Demons: they are able to stop the Heroes' powers! Each Demon is good against the power of a particular Hero, and Jackal... Well, Jackal loves monologuing, and he almost got struck by a lightning right there XD

Wait, a lightning? O.O

Enjoy!

Coloured Pencils on A4 Paper.
Several hours.
Characters and art (c) :iconarven92:

I want to improve, I greatly appreciate feedback and constructive criticism regarding anatomy, page flow and overall composition. Thank you! :)

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS



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:icondragoness17:
So I said I was going to write a critique some pages back, right?

I'll just say before I start, that I adore this comic and you know that very well ;) But it won't be an excuse to pour praise all over this page. :mwahaha:

Panel 1: Background critique time! Now, I fully understand that backgrounds are one of the goddamn hardest things to draw as I can tell from experience, but I'd like to see you making some steps towards improving. Using blue and green shadows was indeed a great step forward though :clap:

Now, what I'd like to suggest is to look at photos everywhere. If this is in a cave and, judging from an earlier page, lit by only a few gaps in the ceiling, it should be a whole lot darker. In select panels, you could add faint beams of light.

Going on with the lighting issue, the spots of light. A good step, but needs refining. First up, they're everywhere and the same size no matter how near or far the object is. Maybe focus on adding a few in places where the aforementioned beams of light should hit and also not so evenly spaced. The rules of shading also apply to these - I'm seeing these spots of light appearing on characters where they shouldn't be.

Nextly (I know that's not a word, just go with it :P), I'd like to see more variation in the scenery. There are literally only one or two species of tree and bush, and also the ground and walls are really flat and uninteresting. Manipulate the landscape for some interest such as tunnels, cave, drops etc, and maybe even use it for plot elements. The landscape is a character in itself, use this to your advantage.

Background nitpicking complete? Yes. Back to individual panel critique which kind of fell by the wayside.

So, panel 1. Anatomy-wise, there is nothing to pick. All the aforementioned things come in here. Story-wise, it's quite cliche to have the hero just have a 'what' moment and not do anything. I'll admit this is usually for information purposes as the lack of reaction allows the villain to do his monologue-ing and stuff. But, to get my point across let's replace Led with my OC Kyzaro, C.Y. with Arane and Jackal with my bad boy Lankharra. As soon as Arane was struck down, Kyzaro would have leapt to prevent Lankharra taking his chance and stabbing Arane, which he would do. Get my drift? xD

But in this case, with readers used to the way the story runs, I just roll with whatever cliches come up. o3o

Panel 2: I'm sorry... Led's face just cracked me up xD Not that that's a bad thing at all. I love Hest's dialogue too. x3

Panel 3: Jackal. Really. C.Y. can just run away from you. This is a perfect example of the dawdling villain cliche. Again, if this were Lankharra, he wouldn't muck around. But I'll just roll with it *shamelssly repeats self*

Panel 4: Ignoring the issues that cover this whole page, this panel is perfect. You need to teach me how to do these awesome sparkly background effects... not that I'll likely use them in Scarred :P

Panel 5: Eep perspective! Now I know how horrendously hard perspective is. It is evil. But, you have two perfect characters here in this shot: C.Y. and Oniken. Jackal on the other hand could use some work.

Here too is where the dawdling villain shows up. Proudly announcing his plan and giving everyone ample opportunity to stop him. :icony-u-noplz:

Panel 6: Now I can explain how the perspective is so wrong. C.Y. is closest to the 'camera'. Now, why is that Jackal, a notably small, weak wolf, has paws that are far larger than C.Y's? His body is also far larger than his head. Use reference points from other things in the image, such as C.Y, to compare and make sure everything is as accurate as possible before the final lineart.

I rate this page:

Vision: You have a good vision here, executed well and definitely improved since you first started. I give this a 3/5.

Originality: Ouch. Stereotypes everywhere D8 While technically not a bad thing, especially considering the occasional unpredicted twist that does show up, this is a critique and I'm targeting everything. So, cardboard villain who need some 3D-ifying, common good vs evil plot with bad guy wants to take over the world/land/potato elements (I shouldn't be targeting that, Lankharra's doing like, the same :XD:) Steel was a great example of the stereotyping in this with his 'kill everything >8D' attitude. But, with the experience you've gained over the years it's probably a bit harsh to call you out on this by now. Africa's going to really show us how you've improved ovo I give this a 3.

Technique: Solid but definitely needs refining. Keep at it though, I have definitely seen some notable improvements throughout the course of this comic, and you'll never stop learning. I'll give it a 4.

Impact: Well, it kept me reading and then watching out for the next page every week, didn't it? That's coming from someone who tries to keep from stereotypes, avoids black and white concepts like the plague and is bugged by the smallest of plot errors. I think it's saying something when I give this a 4/5.

I hope I helped in some way and didn't just tear you down too harshly x3
What do you think?
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:iconlaki10:
Laki10 Mar 7, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Who is the green wolf, who like Kobu...
Kobura is cute, but this demon isn't :D
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Sorry, I'm from Bulgaria and my english is bad! ;D
Reply
:iconarven92:
ARVEN92 Mar 7, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The green wolf is Led :D

Hoho no problems, and Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconthespacejumper:
TheSpaceJumper Aug 19, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
man, that sword keeps getting smaller and smaller
Reply
:iconarven92:
ARVEN92 Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I agree XD
Reply
:iconangelwolves1:
AngelWolves1 Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
O.O I think it's... I think it's... I think it's... *holds breath*
Reply
:iconarven92:
ARVEN92 Aug 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lol XD
Reply
:iconangelwolves1:
AngelWolves1 Aug 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No, seriously, I TRULY was like that when I saw that lighting crackle over Jackal! XD
Reply
:iconpaperchild01:
Paperchild01 Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Arven what's with Led's tongue in second panel?? I think he's tongue is long and at the end of It ... there's something... 

and btw doesn't Jackal knows everything about the heroes? Cause he didn't knew for the attack.
Reply
:iconarven92:
ARVEN92 Aug 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah, the blue stuff hanging from it is saliva XD I wanted Hest's attack to be so sudden that Led didn't even have the time to swallow :)

And yes he does :) Of course, the Heroes still have some tricks up their sleeves :)
Reply
:iconpaperchild01:
Paperchild01 Aug 19, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
what's swallow???
Reply
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