Jackal's monologue continues, and we finally discover the secret of the Zodiac Demons: they are able to stop the Heroes' powers! Each Demon is good against the power of a particular Hero, and Jackal... Well, Jackal loves monologuing, and he almost got struck by a lightning right there XD
Wait, a lightning? O.O
Coloured Pencils on A4 Paper. Several hours. Characters and art (c)
I want to improve, I greatly appreciate feedback and constructive criticism regarding anatomy, page flow and overall composition. Thank you!
So I said I was going to write a critique some pages back, right?
I'll just say before I start, that I adore this comic and you know that very well But it won't be an excuse to pour praise all over this page.
Panel 1: Background critique time! Now, I fully understand that backgrounds are one of the goddamn hardest things to draw as I can tell from experience, but I'd like to see you making some steps towards improving. Using blue and green shadows was indeed a great step forward though
Now, what I'd like to suggest is to look at photos everywhere. If this is in a cave and, judging from an earlier page, lit by only a few gaps in the ceiling, it should be a whole lot darker. In select panels, you could add faint beams of light.
Going on with the lighting issue, the spots of light. A good step, but needs refining. First up, they're everywhere and the same size no matter how near or far the object is. Maybe focus on adding a few in places where the aforementioned beams of light should hit and also not so evenly spaced. The rules of shading also apply to these - I'm seeing these spots of light appearing on characters where they shouldn't be.
Nextly (I know that's not a word, just go with it ), I'd like to see more variation in the scenery. There are literally only one or two species of tree and bush, and also the ground and walls are really flat and uninteresting. Manipulate the landscape for some interest such as tunnels, cave, drops etc, and maybe even use it for plot elements. The landscape is a character in itself, use this to your advantage.
Background nitpicking complete? Yes. Back to individual panel critique which kind of fell by the wayside.
So, panel 1. Anatomy-wise, there is nothing to pick. All the aforementioned things come in here. Story-wise, it's quite cliche to have the hero just have a 'what' moment and not do anything. I'll admit this is usually for information purposes as the lack of reaction allows the villain to do his monologue-ing and stuff. But, to get my point across let's replace Led with my OC Kyzaro, C.Y. with Arane and Jackal with my bad boy Lankharra. As soon as Arane was struck down, Kyzaro would have leapt to prevent Lankharra taking his chance and stabbing Arane, which he would do. Get my drift? xD
But in this case, with readers used to the way the story runs, I just roll with whatever cliches come up. o3o
Panel 2: I'm sorry... Led's face just cracked me up xD Not that that's a bad thing at all. I love Hest's dialogue too. x3
Panel 3: Jackal. Really. C.Y. can just run away from you. This is a perfect example of the dawdling villain cliche. Again, if this were Lankharra, he wouldn't muck around. But I'll just roll with it *shamelssly repeats self*
Panel 4: Ignoring the issues that cover this whole page, this panel is perfect. You need to teach me how to do these awesome sparkly background effects... not that I'll likely use them in Scarred
Panel 5: Eep perspective! Now I know how horrendously hard perspective is. It is evil. But, you have two perfect characters here in this shot: C.Y. and Oniken. Jackal on the other hand could use some work.
Here too is where the dawdling villain shows up. Proudly announcing his plan and giving everyone ample opportunity to stop him.
Panel 6: Now I can explain how the perspective is so wrong. C.Y. is closest to the 'camera'. Now, why is that Jackal, a notably small, weak wolf, has paws that are far larger than C.Y's? His body is also far larger than his head. Use reference points from other things in the image, such as C.Y, to compare and make sure everything is as accurate as possible before the final lineart.
I rate this page:
Vision: You have a good vision here, executed well and definitely improved since you first started. I give this a 3/5.
Originality: Ouch. Stereotypes everywhere D8 While technically not a bad thing, especially considering the occasional unpredicted twist that does show up, this is a critique and I'm targeting everything. So, cardboard villain who need some 3D-ifying, common good vs evil plot with bad guy wants to take over the world/land/potato elements (I shouldn't be targeting that, Lankharra's doing like, the same ) Steel was a great example of the stereotyping in this with his 'kill everything >8D' attitude. But, with the experience you've gained over the years it's probably a bit harsh to call you out on this by now. Africa's going to really show us how you've improved ovo I give this a 3.
Technique: Solid but definitely needs refining. Keep at it though, I have definitely seen some notable improvements throughout the course of this comic, and you'll never stop learning. I'll give it a 4.
Impact: Well, it kept me reading and then watching out for the next page every week, didn't it? That's coming from someone who tries to keep from stereotypes, avoids black and white concepts like the plague and is bugged by the smallest of plot errors. I think it's saying something when I give this a 4/5.
I hope I helped in some way and didn't just tear you down too harshly x3
Who is the green wolf, who like Kobu... Kobura is cute, but this demon isn't ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry, I'm from Bulgaria and my english is bad! ;D
And here you have
the number one
question that people
ask me:"How the hell
did you get so many
people to view your
art? You're not even
that good!"I can't
do anything other
admitting that I'm
not that good at
art. I'm not some
concept artist, at
least. I've seen
We all joined this
site, more or less
for this reason, to
get feedback on our
art. The whole point
of submitting art
online is for people
to see it and hear
what they think
about it.Now there
are a lot of
deviants out there
who get little to no
feedback and as a
result ask the
people who faved
The ThemeWelcome to
the World of Water
contest. I've tried
to make it
ack: Close-ups (this
main subject in the
photograph has to be
water. It can be
drops, it c...
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More