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Description
Previous:
Cover: [link]
Back to Beginning: [link]
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French Version / Version française: [link] by/par
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And OMGOMGOMG 130 PAGESSSSSS!So let's see... it looks like Jackal is not scared at all by Ajna. No one seemed to wonder why
Everyone was so concentrated in Jackal's knowledge about Ajna, and no one really noticed that it was Jackal himself who attracted C.Y.'s attention.Also, hasn't anyone noticed that Oniken has been next to Jackal ever since the beginning of this scene? Watch out for Oniken, guys. Watch out :'D
So, Oniken finally gets some attention! I love the guy! He is so weak looking, but he actually has a lot of power. Ajna sure didn't see that coming. Literally D8
Enjoy!
Coloured Pencils on A4 Paper.
Several hours.
Characters and art (c)
I want to improve, I greatly appreciate feedback and constructive criticism regarding anatomy, page flow and overall composition. Thank you!
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Image size
1651x2324px 3.91 MB
Make
Canon
Model
CanoScan 5600F
Comments411
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Overall Vision Originality Technique Impactso, finally heres the next page everyone was waiting for!
i want to precise that the first part of the critique has been written by my own point of view, you can consider it is your own view of things and don't pay attention to my advices
i am french, so i apologize about the grammar/vocabulary mistakes i could eventually make in this critique
first of all, when you look at the page itself, i have deplored that it was so static, so ordered.
this page is clearly the beggining of what almost turned into a violent fight beetween a demon/God-wolf and a whole vilain band. but then you created a falling and this is great because nobody expected it. but to resume, it is an action scene! Ajna is rushing on the vilains, all fangs out, and the adversity must seriously hurry! And yet, on the 4th case is so static! it's like the vilain could drink a cup of tea while it's speaking. and then, for the next case, it's like it's taking his time again. CY is only some metters far!! the wolf must accelerate the pace if it doesn't want to be seriously harmed, or if it doesn't want his friend not to be harmed.
then the lasts boxes were up to you, you could have represent the scene by multiple ways. i am fine with them, but i would have highlighted Ajna's expression, it must be surprise of what's happening, no?
and i wanted to comment the first and third case too.
on the first box, we can read that Ajna is growling. but you simply can't read it on her face. you could have add a "..." near her face. before bouncing, fang outs, a wolf or any other animals show them as a warning.
and for the 3rd box, i see you changed the box's borders to give more punch to the scene, and you did it well. but you could have also simply erase it, and, for exmple, color the whole space beetween the boxes above and below as a free space. and then, coulour eatch blank area around your boxes. it would have give even more impact to the scene.
to finish on this point, i would say that to reflect well each emotions, actions of your characters, you'd rather had more effetcs in your pictures, and instead of drawing a whole big box you could separate it in, for exemple for the 5th case, 2 different boxes.
then come the drawig themselves. first of all, i would like to comment the wolf wich is near the blue one in the 3rd box. you did excellently well its anatomy. all of its bones are marked, as if they are emerged. the same remark for eatch drawings of it. great job on this point, there's nothing else to say.
then,the purple aura that is going out of the wolf itself look that great, you always do a great job on the transparent effects like these, as for the effect on Ajn'as eye on the box that is before the last one.
i think this quite the end, i like the little purple reflections on the wolf when he make its aura go outside of him <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=" (Smile)"/> you always put little details inside your comic that make it turn out great ^^well, hope it helped, see ya! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=" (Smile)"/>